Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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