just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
