Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
