he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
