guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
