i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
