he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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