dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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