And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
