The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
