Acid is not a monday night drug
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
