i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
