didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
