Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
