i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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