So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
