I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
