Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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