I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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