I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
