I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im part way to drunk.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
