They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
