their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The Olympian is in my bed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
