If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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