No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
