I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
