it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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