tell your sister to shave her snatch
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
