God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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