Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
