Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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