he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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