o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he puts the penis in happiness.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
