Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
