we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
