Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
