she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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