I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
