he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
