so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
