Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
