She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
