remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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