Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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