Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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