doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
