no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
