When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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