Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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