I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
